“You better grab me some of them there Little Debbie snacks before I decide to smack you upside yo head little girl!”
The young woman behind the counter stared back in disbelief at this tall man standing in front of her. He had a large black Afro and was wearing a purple zebra striped fur jacket with a purple suede shirt on underneath. He had rings decorating all of his fingers and in his right hand he held a pimp cane with a large red ruby on top of it.
“What’s wrong with you hoe? You handicrippled or something?” Guido yelled as he waved his pimp cane dangerously close to her face.
“N-nnn-nnnoo!” She stammered as her wide eyes stared at this marvel standing in front of her.
Guido moved closer to the counter and read her named tag.
“Mary is it? You better get me some of them there Little Debbie’s before I decide to smack you up a bit hoe!”
Mary quickly dashed out from behind the counter to the Little Debbie aisle before Guido could bring the wrath of his pimp cane upon her face. She quickly grabbed a box of some type of Little Debbie’s and ran back as fast as she could.
“H-h-hhh-heerree!” She mumbled as she practically threw the box of snacks at him.
“What’s the matter with you hoe? You intimidated by me or something? Maybe I should smack you up a bit with this here pimp cane to make you feel better!”
Mary’s eyes grew humongous as she backed away as far as she could almost falling to the ground.
Guido pulled out a lighter and pulled out a golden cigarette case. He opened the case, pulled a cigarette out, popped it in his mouth, closed the case and put it back. He then flipped open the lighter and lit the cigarette while moving closer to Mary’s face. He inhaled deeply drawing in the cigarette smoke and then exhaled it all into Mary’s face. She coughed and if it was even humanly possible moved even further backwards behind the counter. During all of these festivities inside, a man outside was topping off on gas in his car when he accidentally pulled the pump out early and spilled gasoline all over the place.
“Oh well!” The man laughed as he climbed into his car and drove off without warning anyone.
“Thanks for the snacks hoe!” Guido called as he made his way back outside. He was doin his little pimp slouch and walking through the parking lot. His cigarette was done so he pulled it out of his mouth and flicked it away. It landed right in the spilled gasoline and caught on fire. Guido kept on walking whistling some tune.
“OMG! That gas is on fire! Run for your lives!” Some random chick screamed somewhere behind him. Guido crossed the street and a few seconds later the gas station exploded sending debris flying. Debris landed all around Guido as he opened his box of Little Debbie snacks. He unwrapped the plastic and took a bite. He chewed it carefully for a few seconds then a sudden realization hit him. He spit it out everywhere in disgust.
“That damn hoe! She gave me Oatmeal Crème Pies! I WANTED MOON PIES!!!! AHHHH! All of that for nothing! O well! On to the next gas station.” Guido exclaimed as he walked on his merry little way whistling whatever tune pimps these days whistle.